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A Walk Across Europe

Portugal to Turkey

Cabo são Vincente to Istanbul - 8,000 km. 2003 - 2023 (approx)

Glossary of Malapropisms

Most families have a few words that are unique to their own small group. Over the years we have collected many words
that "improve" on the original English. These have come from foreigners struggling to master our language, from small
children who make charming mistakes and from the pig ignorant who ought to know better but still get it wrong in
amusing ways.

Other influences include Ronnie Barker's "loyal society for relief of sufferers from the the pismronunciation of worms" and
'Allo 'Allo! for its rendering of several European languages. Travelling the world, one picks up foreign words that are much
more fun than their English equivalent. "Sod-off-ka voda" is a nice example. This is Czech for fizzy water.

affen Tourists (from Affenparade – honeypot)
arsema a sore backside, can also refer to flatulence
barcon bacon
basuras Spanish for rubbish
billy tracks Narrow paths made by animals or sometimes walkers
bix box
bolleau an expletive
bouncers soft cushions
brød Bread as pronounced by Anne's Maltese landlady
brusolosis Bruised soles of feet
bruk Broken
buck buck baa Chicken sometimes shortened to buck buck
bugger JCB, road digger or marine dredger (this is a Dutch word)
carvar Coffee from Neil’s mispronunciation of Kava in Czech
chattock castle - see gattocks
compost compos (those without the benefit of a classical education make this mistake)
dick dark
dicktheria see toesolitis
Differo MP3 player on which Anne records interesting points.
ferret shop ferreteria (Iron mongers and DIY shop)
froozer freezer
gattocks cake - see bolleau
glassade similar to a glissade but one slides on ones rear end
hairyhole Aerial
happles as in haycorns (Winnie the Pooh)
hearse horse (as said by Katie 5)
helly Helly Hansen (used for any make of fleece)
helly hansen Mayonaise (also the full name for a fleece)
hum Home (pronounced to rhyme with room) Norfolk dialect
Invat Entrance or slip road from Slakan (Rates of Exchange)
kossack kiosk (from a character in the James Herriot vet stories)
lixo lee-shoo, Portuguese for rubbish
make a small shopping Quotation from Rates of Exchange by Malcolm Bradbury
Maakelik Do-able from a Dutch walking guide we bought in Benidorm
Mini Family name for mother
mip map
mustang Back pack
narnula Banana - narna - narnula. In Tenerife, banana plantations are nearly always dead ends. You can get in, but high terraced walls prevent escape. So a narnula is a dead end.
ninja tunnel under a motorway (where ninja turtles live)
øg egg as pronounced by Anne's landlady
one to me A game taught by Val where points are scored if you see a cat or a frog. We had already played "look at that pussy. It’s the nicest one I’ve ever seen" so we were ripe for conversion. We don’t count the points.
parper paper
piles Battery from pila Spanish pile French
pivo beer (Czech language)
pneemoania (kneemonia) damaged knees that cause endless complaining
ponce pants (the policeman in 'Allo 'Allo!)
poopers Sweet or chili peppers
porker pork or portion
pozor vlak You score a point for saying this first when you see a train or railway. It means "beware trains" in Czech.
praan brown
prerked tired or broken
pronomontory promontory (from a holiday rep' in Sagres Portugal)
pummock Hill
pussypillar caterpillar
rejuveated rejuvenated (coined by a holiday rep' from Essex)
salman Salmon
scheem machine (baby language - we never grew up)
seeskweem Ice-cream (baby talk)
shingles usually a short lived complaint caused by the shin muscles cramping or stiffening up
sissages I am walking very carefully because I have sissages in my ponce. (the policeman in 'Allo 'Allo!)
slicks slices (from children's mis-spellings)
sluck sluice
snug bed
spedunculas particulars (no idea how this one evolved)
stark steak
station alsation (dog)
stimp stamp (the policeman in 'Allo 'Allo!)
stinken pinken Barbie doll pink
stools toadstools
stun stone
squaw square - the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squaws of the other two hides (Pythagoras)
swimming dress Boy's swim suit (as said by a Czech teacher much to the English boys ammusement)
Tellingphone Telephone
tureen ravine
Thyroid Pain in thigh/s
toesolitis injured toes
turbans turbines
trizers Trousers (posh pronunciation) rhymes with spizes as said by a school governor where Neil used to work.
tweeter bird
woo path or way - also a woo through is a route that has an exit
woo-woo scheems Lego constructions placed in the front window of a caravan being towed. They swayed and eventually disintegrated. The winner's scheem lasted the longest. When the scheem was nearly destroyed, one would say Wooo!
Worms Words (from the Ronnie Barker pismronunciation sketch)

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